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The only objection I see here is, you have yet to play in the fire!

it's a shame to be so wasted, and a waste to be ashamed.

4/18/11 01:43 pm - back in black

  A few days ago I received an email about my "live journal" account. I was like "I remember you LJ!!".
I had actually tried to get into my account a few months ago but could not figure out my username or password and then I got distracted and did not pursue it anymore. The email said I had a comment on one of my entries.....so thank you to that person (Toxisoma) who i do not know for opening this back up to me.
It is hilarious to look through these few years of my life (all of which happen to be in Oklahoma) and remember how things were.
Things were definitely pretty hilarious!!! I still to this day enjoy reading my posts and although they can be a bit embarrassing I still am thankful for myself keeping track of a few years. imagine if we all had a person to keep track of every day like this for us. We would have the biggest journals ever!!
Now it is April 18th, 2011, a whole 5 and half years after my last post......Almost surreal.
I wish i could tell the me in 2005 what would happen in these years in between and what i should have been doing instead of just messing around and being a kid in my early 20's.
If only time machines really were real. I watch "Back to the future" movies with such envy!!
More on this later. I have to go to work...

9/18/05 11:39 pm - Fight for your right to stay rock hard!

So I got to go to sunday school before I went to work today! That set my mood to near perfection for this 12 hour day at roadhouse. I worked allday yesterday too. SO i'm ready for a break, but I dont get one.
I am going to 3 great shows in a row this week so I gotta work extra hard to make up lost shifts.
Dirty fingernails tearing bread at my table is my new pet peeve. Along with red necks even trying to figure out tip on a $40 tab.
I had Friday night off so we went biking, which of course means all paved trail, but still significantly more fun than riding in just suburban wasteland neighborhoods, fending off domestic pet's and sprinklers.
Josh also went shopping with me for nylons (cause in school it's a requirment, not cause I'm getting older) which ended with me buying pink high heels, puma socks and some thongs. I could'nt find any that I liked, but the test that he passed was far worth our time. Knowing whether he'd weather the difficulties of shopping for me and my needs. HA! I've never had a problem getting guys to shop with me. Maybe it's just the kind of guys I like (pecentage metro), or the fact that the common factor is me and how fun I am to shop with and easy to please yet hard to impress.(Oxymoronic statement). Meaning I dont buy everything I see, but I am not too hard to shop for.

Fri night josh took me to "Logans Roadhouse" the new steak place that is out major competition. Oh man did we have bad service. I swear the girl had just started last night, but she insisted she'd worked at Applebees before this job. She got a good deal wrong on my order and she was really anoying. I could'nt believe that I was being so critical of her. I guess knowing how things should be really makes eating at restaurants really hard for me, if things are'nt good. Josh got annoyed (one of the many times I managed to get on his nerves). I reallt dont know why he's dating me.
He seems like the type who goes for those "Abercrombie" type girls. The ones with the really straight jagged edge hair cuts (unatuarally blond), always has their lips pink and glossy, has a tan that reaks of melanoma that is alwasy visible cause they wear shirts that ride a lil' too short, smell like victoria secret, a high pitched voice, small feet in American Eagle flipflops, and has too big of a butt but everyone still thinks their the hottest thing and you wonder why (and how) everone can overlook that one annoyingly imperfect feature.
Anyways I'm unessesary to say, none of those things.

I'm feeling pretty carnal lately. Seriously I had to train a girl on thurs and just about knocked her head right off! She was one of those personalities that just drove me to physical abuse!
But I kept calm.....Holly helped me through it. She had to train her today, I felt bad, but we laghed about how we try so hard to stay cool!

My mum sent me a package the other day, it was wapped all funky, just like I always wrap mine. She sent such silly stuff. everything had the color pink in it though. she is so awesome! I miss her most.

I best get to bed, Tmrws the 1st day of school. For some reason I must re-take my picture for my ID badge and year book. So this time I will have red hair in it. Spectacular. I am starting to like it alot.
To anyone who actually reads this, I hope all is well and that GOd is in your life and that You realize how much you mean to him and how much you need him.

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Which one am I? I made him some sandles like mine....and distracted him long enough to paint his toes.

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I like this picture of Amber

9/15/05 01:28 pm - I was thnking of the past, of how your heart was made of glass.

Telling me to "Calm down" has yet to ever get the job done!

So I finally cleaned the sara(h)'s room, so crazy. I was back to sleeping on the couch cause my bed had all my clothes on it! I have been searching for a dresser but decided to just repaint some stuff I've had layin' around. Turned out pretty stinkin' cool! Gotta love the fact that I'm an award winning painter and that I can make even a piece of garbage furniture into mastercraftmanship worthy of adoration and into an hierloom, for years of enjoyment. Thanks mum!

SO for a funnny joke(and our 3 month dating aniv.) josh decided to dye his dark brown hair red. Well it turned out to really surprise me. He thought he got washout dye...but I'm not too sure. It's funny when we go out anywhere we get some funny looks. I like spontaneity in men!
I've never dated anyone like him before although there may have been a reason for that.
hehe no further comment.
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Us yesterday! No sign of his hair starting to fade!

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Josh is 90% little boy

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twirling on the office chair in the middle of the kitchen while cooking dinner

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Eli and holly on their bikes before the storm hit

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during the storm, crazy rain!

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Josh is 50% Italian. I think he looks like super Mario in this pic, with his "saras hair" mustache.

9/12/05 11:54 am - Chronicles of the newfound redheaded girl

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Well I'd like to say that most of the choices I've made in life have been sound and good. But let me take you on a journey through recent choices I'd wished I'd have thought harder on.
Let's begin.
Well from the picture above you may see that yes this picture does not do justice to how red my hair really is. Oh no It's really not "rich mohagany", more like a fire engiene flying by at heart racing speed.
I kinda had this feeling that there was a reason why I had always left my hair mostly brown.(I did have that one incident of blond when I was 15, looking back at pictures has scared me brunette for 8 years after).
Ok I can deal with it but can everyone else? I have 2 other redheaded roomates, we all work together and now people really get us mixed up. Oh need I even mention Josh's reaction? His had the obvious observation "Whoa yer hair's red", thats never good. Sounds like he was stunned! He did'nt like it at first but I guess he realized right about then was a good time to start trying. I agreed. More on this later.

Now as you all may know I bought myself (ok maybe the insurance company bought me..) a 2000 mustang GT.
Well, see, this car drinks gas like arnold does protein shakes and with the ever increasing gas prices, it has proved to be quite the investment(bad decision #2) (all the while amazing to drive). Especially since the chiropractor I chose practices 12 miles away (bad decision #3) and I go 3 times a week.
Oh speaking of MR Chiro. I've decided that no matter how good a massage is, when accompanied by flute and xylophone music, it can definatly lessen the relaxation value by a large percentage. On this same trip, I managed to drop my favorite pen in the toilet and break my favorite sunglasses while walking down the hall.
Oh and speaking of why I go to the chiro, I guess I should'nt have been driving at 3:30pm in Oklahoma
(bad decision #1) I'll keep my mouth shut about OK drivers now...

Going to "Braums" a southern fast food/food market, proved to be hilarious the other day. I ordered ice cream and a chix sandwhich. The only thing that was right was the fact that there was chix on the sandwhich, everything else was wrong. You cant kid around with me and MAYO either.
That instance did make me wonder why we expect the employees of such establishments to actually get orders right. Most likely that is the only job that they could get. I just felt really bad for saying that. But not bad enough to erase it I guess.

On top of all this (hehe) the "NAG CHAMPA" insence I love so much (that Jamie sent me from MT)is starting to make me sick. Well amber will be excited she hates that stuff.(burning insence bad decision #....I've lost count)

Now this is one I'm not sure of it being a bad decision or not. Having a boyfriend. As usual I am starting to freak out. It's been 3 monthes and I am not sure anymore (not that I ever was).
So that will end the list for now. I hope to put some more constructive things on the next entry.

"Been there done that, bought the t-shirt" is the most annoying saying ever!

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Me(left) and Amber got tattoos on our backs. As you can see they are dragons....ok U got me they'r from the machine at work.

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Beth put crazy makeup on me...very dramatic!

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Josh stretching out some of my jeans

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Sarah, Liz, me, Mac, Amber, Holly, and Josie. All 6 roomates!

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Having fun on the mailbox

9/7/05 12:15 pm - Decidedly not in like with other peoples pet's

Ok so how funny is me walking into my home from a hard nights work, to a house full of chaos and two running, sniffing, barking pugs!
Ahhhhhh dog's in the house get me all freaked out of fleas. Only cause their someone else's dogs.
If they are mine and I know where their hienies had been and who they've been sniffin', then I'm all cool.
Long story short It's a friend of a friend of Holly my roomate, who's going to our school. SO WHAT? The dogs can stay out!
She ended up staying here for almost a week and so did those mangey mongrels, scratching at the door to get in so they could rub their noses on my leopard rug. I'm just being dramatic, but it was really funny. Of course I could only laugh in between bowing my nose and sneezing, but you know.
Meanwhile we had 2 OTHER girls staying with us, that makes a grand total of 9 girls and 2 stinky dogs in a one 4 bed room house!
My comments need not exceed this single sentence. You get the point.

8/26/05 03:52 am

Today I was driving with the top down(as per usual) and I had to spit all of a sudden. Well I've gotten pretty good at spitting lately, you know how there's a technique to keeping your spit under control and all, well I've mastered it. I think running track helped.
Anyway I felt confident enough to spit over my door, with the wind calculated and the momentum well proportioned, I still managed to get saliva all down the inside of my door, it ran all the way to the floor. I was having a hard time staying on the road after that...

Worked at R.H. for the first time in 2 weeks today. It was marvelous, I trained a cute lil girl.
I kinda like training people to serve, but I think I'd be better training something else instead.
Oh like personal training in a gym, I've always wanted to do that. I get so excited about other people reaching they're fitness goals. Well I guess I'll just freelance for now.

Well the new girl moves in TMRW(her name is sarah perfect!), I cant wait to share my room again! It's pretty small, but I've got those rad bunk beds ready for action!
Josh is leaving for the weekend to go home to Houston, so that will be nice for him, and nice for me to get some work done around here. I kinda hope he doesnt cheat with some X GF, but hey if he does, I will love to hate him for awhile anyways. Guy's are so two faced. I just cant trust 'em. I actually like quite a bit though. It's starting to scare me.

We played truth or dare JENGA tonight, every block you pull out has a question or a dare on it. SO FUN! But they are mostly inuendos and some just silly. No one got lucky enough to kiss anyone they wanted to.
There were some quick awkward moments though....the 5 of us know one another well enough.
Josh was outside knocking on doors in his underware
Joel kissed mac on the cheek...twice
we had to impersonate each other..very funny
There was Belly dancing..josh tried, AMber did

I have to say, I really enjoy writing. I admit it is a passion of mine. SO if anything I say or do or a picture I post ticks you off, well im sorry.
Please, it is your perogative to attend my constant party of a life here on the web so dont chose to lose the priviledge. (That was for a select few of you)

I need to go to bed so I can wake up TMRW some time resonable.


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Random pic of me eating raw octopus
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Us with the Famous surfer "TiTus"...you know right?
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Do I look like a NATIVE now?

8/25/05 01:33 am

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This is my tulsa Family!
Top row Amber, Grace, Elizabeth, ME(sara), Josh(my BF)
Btm row Mac,Brenson, Holly, Joel, April

8/25/05 01:16 am - If ya dont know now ya know....(yes the rap song)

I've fallen somewhere between two groups of people (since of course there are only 2 kinds of people in this world). I feel I have become too old for some friends' partying and wasting time with shenanigans and talking nonsense and yet still too young to start relating to the newly married old farts who stay at home and snuggle all the time or the "been single for too long and it's starting to make me crazy in the head, and now have become desperate and it it shows, and thats not attractive so they're all the more single" Type. So I'm like the one who doesnt belong anywhere. Cause maybe I should be married by this time, and starting a family. My mum was 6 monthes pregnant with me at my age, and while she was getting married at 19 I was still learning the lyrics and chords to "Glycering", wearing glittery eyeshadow, dressing like Gwen stefani, and just getting over my first breakup. (I had no idea how many more there were to come:)
But I'm fine with not being married, I'm having an awesome time being with Josh and being able to leave when I need space and not have to any real huge obligations.
But I still feel unsure about alot of thing's and just wanna start feeling secure in who I am growing up to be. I' still growing up but it feels like I should already be there by now.

By this time I 'm pretty sure that God didnt create me to be just like everyone else so I oughta just trust that the good work he started in me, he'll finish in his timing. I'm reading a pretty good book Lately. I only started it cause my very recently seen friend Tony sent it to me in the mail and said it was great (I dont read alot of "girl" books). If yer a girl you should read it but if yer a boy you should read it twice as much. "Captivating" by the John and Staci Eldredge. Welcome to reading rainbow!

I really like being a virgin.
I pretty much love flounting it as much as possible.(J/K)
ALthough all my roomates are as well, so Im no one special really.
My BF Josh is not, and maybe it bugs me that his last girl friend(fiance)is in the vicky's secret catalog (wearing clothes),but what can you do...I cant compete with that. Some skinny armed penelope cruz girl who is so much sweeter and more beautiful than I....The only thing I have on her is that I'm bloody Hilarious I suppose, and buckets of fun! Hope Josh is'nt too easily swayed cause he's going down to Houston to see all his friends and he might just get back with one of his X's we'll see.
What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man....I put eye makeup on him tonight. He looked like captain Jack sparrow. SAvvy?

MAybe it bugs me how guys can just screw up (Screw used literally here) and live this crappy life, the whole time knowing the truth, than turn around a few years later and demand a beautifully sacred girl who has saved herself. It's just not right.
Maybe in a way that's how God feels about us and our sinfulness. Sounds like the parable of the workers in the vineyard. If you dont know it, read it it's in the Bible somewhere)

Put up christmas lights in my room today, but only half of them worked so I went to buy more, but I guess they dont sell 'em till freakin' christmas....so half the room...

I hate it when you get a key on your keyboard sticky with jelly.

Had a full body massage today. I get one a week since the accident in July (story for another day).

What is in a name? More than we think?

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bored in the airport
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On the beach after a bike ride

8/17/05 11:05 am - 101 paces from the ocean

I'm going to follow ryans lead and just start postin' instead of tryin to catch you all up on my wonderFULL life!
FOr me it takes a long time to post cause I really like to add pictures, use big words, requiring me to look them up in a dictionary and besides all this, I'm a pretty stinky typist.
I might hire a secretary to do all this for me. Wow that would be great, and since she/he is around I could have them keep my calendure of events, co-ordinate my flights to crazy places and home, all the time making sure I can see as many concerts as possible and that none overlap. I do have a crisis, "coldplay Dallas" is the same day as "Interpol Tulsa"! I will lose much sleep over that one.
But I will manage to see "Wilco" this time. "The bravery" will also be a fantastic show.
My secretary would also wrestle me awake when I sleep through my fog horn of an alarm, sit on my feet when I do my sit ups, give me pedicures while I do something more important, take my calls and call back people who I'd rather not speak with(you know if U get my secretary, yer not my favorite person:), sit on the other side of the see saw, be honest when I ask if the back of my hair looks good (those people are hard to find).I would also bring my secretary to school with me where she/he would take neat and detailed notes on every subject discussed. Keep my bag organized, making sure I had enough girly hand lotion, gum(for the guy next to me who had a crap sandwhich for breakfast of course), colorful pens, tissue(people who sniff need no excuse), knitting needles, safety pins(for when yer silly girlfriend wears something that gets the prim and proper police called on 'em),and sunglasses(the flourescent lights in the morning are a easier thing to get a headache to than "Pantera") all very necesary for attending class.
Anyways, anyone willing to put up with me at length need only send me a picture of themselves doing "blue steele" and a crudely drawn up resume would suffice.
The benefits of this job and obvious and do include but are not limited to:
Being aloud to drive me around in my brilliantly beautiful Black convertible Mustang.
Joining me on my trips and concerts.
Being able to be friends with my friends.
UNderstanding how I manage to create such a unique style and still remain cool.
Learning alot of cool stuff about the Bible at school.
Living an adventure everyday.
As if that is'nt enough etc....etc

I'm writing from Kauai, just a free moment while buying tickets back from this Island to Oahu, where we fly out to the big OK tonight.
Thing's have been fun, chill and adventuresome. I'm here with Josh. He is such a crazy yet easy going guy. We're staying with my grandmas 2nd husband, so he's not my blood grandfather, but he is still a part of the family.Never met him before, and havent seen my aunt and uncle in 15 years. I met my cousins for the first time too,hugged Matt 13, he just stood there with the "who the heck are you?" look on. I just yelled "yer my cousin"!It was something out of a movie....so hilarious.
Hailey, who's 8 on the other hand thinks I'm as cool as the "black eyed peas" girl. She also has a strange desire to buy everything leopard print. Down to the carpeting in her room. we are the same.
Uncle Chris and matt ride motorcross bikes which is hilarious. We went out to see them and they let us ride the 4 wheeler. Josh drove mostly, he was starting to jump it and I kept almost falling off, finally he jumped us too far and I bruised my foot (my good foot, more on that later).
I was so mad at him for being reckless with my uncles property that I just remained quite for awhile while I cooled down. Whew I am really getting a hold of my anger. I realize now that it really just makes you look so out of control and stupid to get mad. Proud of this moment.....poor joshi has been with me 10 days straight....he's still alive and kicking( thankfully not kicking at me). He must really like me!
The first day we go surfing we go out to this place where they warn us about the REEF. I capitalize it, because I have a supreme respect for the REEF.
It can do immmense damage to a soft flesh body.
We both got washed up on it after riding a wave a little too long and it took a big piece out of joshs board and outta us too. We got all bloodied up! It was awesome. Uncle chris and gramps were there just in time to see us picking ourselves up and hobbling to shore.They were laughing until they realized how bloody we were and that both my feet got slashed. For the entire trip I have been walking like quasimoto and have been wincing when josh even gets near them.
Alot of mid-day naps have been taken, 5 hours back in time will mess with your sleep and energy levels.
The Weather is seriously amazing though. No A.C. Just beautiful breezes chasing away the hotness on your skin. The Ocean felt so good on my face (after the salt stopped stinging my eye's and cuts of course).
I'm gonna start washing my face with imported Kauai ocean water exclusivly.
We ate yummy food. He has a mango tree in his back yard that is unimaginabley huge. We went out every morning and picked them fresh for breakfast. It was right outside my window, so I could here the ripe ones fall to the ground. Then there were the chickens. Oh my gosh, next time we go, Josh is bringing a gun. Every morning at around 3am they cock-a-doodle-do like 20 times, and every hour then on till noon.
I threw rocks at them on the hike but the guide didnt like that at all. We didnt get a hot curly haired guy kayaking,waterfall guide either, we got the newly wed girl from california. But I'm pretty sure by this time I was finding out my luck ran out the day the soles of my feet turned red on waiohui beach.
We did meet a very famous(so I hear) surfer named Titus. Gramps asked if we could get a pic with him nd he was like "oh yeah mon, no worrays". He was the shade of a black man but not a negro so he definatly verified his being a surfer to me.
I'm saying everything out of order, but you get the idea.If you dont then you should just take a breath and hold for 10 seconds, then let it out, do some yoga, eat some chick peas, make a hemp anklet and then return to read the rest you'll feel better I promise!
The first day we got to oahu it was 10PM, we had no place to stay and no ride. Long story short. We meet a local girl on the plane named Keli'i and she gives us a ride(we fit joshs 6ft board into his just 6 1/2 foot long car) and a place to stay, even if it is with her and her gay guy friends(we just thought they had a local accent). They didnt even hit on Josh, and he thinks he's so irresisteble hehe.
We ate star fruit, raw octopus(TACO), sushimi, very authentic asian food and ton's of fresh fruit.
I have had 10 day's without music, playing guitar, driving, being alone and hanging out with girls.
Miss you roomies!
It has been a really radtastic trip and I am so glad we made it happen.
I'm such a big thinker, it's good to actually do what you think about!!
Traveling is a major passion of mine. I will be doing much of it in the future I suspect!
As Eric Hanson would say "ya suspect"! GO watch that movie with matt damon, robin williams and minne driver, you'll get it.
As I think of more I shall write of it.Be safe but be crazy!

7/25/05 12:16 am - "My life", starring the "other" me!

Yeah so I had a very angry day today! I finished painting this missionaries office today while they ere in Bolivia, and then went straight to work but not really cause I did make time to sideswipe my mustang against my friend Eli's chevy truck. I was SO MAD! I only put a small dent in the side of mine, and nothing happened to his, but I just screamed so loud (the top was off, and josh was with me). They of course come running out of the house to see what happened cause they had watching me from the window. JERKS!
only tryed pulling into that spot cause Josh said I had enough room to make it. But you cant tell a guy that anyhtings his fault....plus I'm just an idiot with bloody cars.
SO i went to work livid! and thats not good when yer payed to be pleasant! anyways, today was a long one and one to remember to not have again.
Oh well I have a message schedualed for tmrw morning, so that should help.
After work I called my dad back he's been calling for days now. I just layed out in the middle of the street and put him on speaker phone and waited till he was finished talking about mom.
It's a cycle I talk with dad, anger builds, I blow up, then I'm stuck with this angry girl who I forgot how to be. Well I'm getting good at it again!
I feel like I am 15 again, fist fighting my brother. "Hot under the collar" is a funnny way to say mad, but I like it it's creative and descriptive.
My hair looked cute today at least.

7/23/05 01:54 am - How dense Am I?

It is July and I am living in OK. The heat is so strange for me, being from Mt and all. There are some days I cant even drive with the top down on my car. I realized how incredibly fast I talk today. I mean I already knew that I suffered from this problem of people looking at me with a confused face, but somehow I didnt really grasp it unitl now. Is that me being so dense? people down here talk like molasses pours from a mason jar to the sidewalk off the edge of the eiffel tower. And maybe just maybe I start tapping my foot as they are ordering their steak cooked medium........well.
Whatever. I need my sleep cause I gotta work 13 hours tmrw!

6/8/05 02:00 am - And Why NOt?

Ok so go to this and get some t-shirts they are so crazy!

5/30/05 10:36 am - Another day another concert....

Geez Where ya'll been? I have been around you know....
Tons have been going on here really. I wrote a great post a couple days ago. But it got lost amongest the pure fibers of this high tech neighborhood, never to be regained. I think most of us know the amount of grief this causes. I had no more time to write so.....
We all went to a great show this month. Toby mac, Audio A., Hawk Nelson, and Kutless.
Gotta say that the guitarist for Kutless reminded me of Ryan Linstedt quite a bit.
Toby had some pretty hilarious bruthas on stage with him (I think he has stage fright and cant be up there alone). A really sold out show. It was at our school so that was pretty crazy!
Afterwards Holly and I rode around on her motorcycle trying to find Toby...didnt get to meet him.
His lil' boy is super cute!
Thats all for now people....

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Audio A. Due this guy can sing and preach something rad!

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My girls~

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This pic is pretty "Freakin' Sweet" if I do say so myself....I'v always had a crush on Will, bassist from Audio A. His long hair has aged well, in a new darker hue.

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I snuck a pic of TOBY MAC and his son while he was signing in a line of ungodly length. I had not the patience.

5/9/05 12:29 pm - Broken hearted detective

This is the real world sara.
This is a world where people are'nt all fluffy, pink and care about you.
I am so stupid!
I seriously feel taken advantage of!
Losing things is something I've come to just accept as part of my absent minded life.....so when I could'nt find my bag with $60.00, ID, credit card's, & cell phone in it. I was'nt too worried.
I cancelled my OK bank card just in case. But had faith that it was just miss-placed so I left my Wells Fargo card. (Milk was) not a good choice. (My trusty "Anchorman" humor strikes again)
So I just called on it today and she said it was used for an online purchase from Washington state. For a mere 13.74. Hey big spender.....
Anyway's about the fact that it was stolen from my shopping cart while I was looking at Bible's and talking with a lady from my church, is an irony of all ironies.
Well God, thank's for helping me understand that thing's just happen sometimes with no good intentions. So you gotta create your own. Which I am. uh.....
In the end I guess I'm only out 110.00 Once I get a new cell phone+cash.
I've starting feeling like I'm on an investigation, I love mystery's. Nancy drew alway's had her eyes open. With a keen sense of danger. She would have never let something like this happen to her. She is brave and never discouraged. I'm just left to be a broken hearted detective.....

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Amber and I with one of our friends' brothers. Who wanted a picture with us.

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Me and Elizabeth. Thanking Jamie for the Italian shoes. And yes I know my arm look's really large here. No need to point it out to me:)

5/7/05 09:53 pm - Got any Dam questions?

M-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i, my friends and I used to think we were oh so cool for knowing how to spell this state when I was 7 years old.
Got back @ 3 am this morning from our wonderful voyage to the Mississippi river (southern IL) for our "National's" track meet.
We left on Wednesday and took our kick ass bus about 7 hours thru Missouri to Jerseyville, IL.
This whole area is so nice and green and feels really nice to be in. Our assistant coach Olivia came with us, and she is so cute and fun.
We all ran pretty well on thursday. On Fri our coach came and her husband who is the dean of the school as well(he gave us a preview of the yearbook). They are so nice and supportive. The big sport for our school is basketball so track is always second to that. We dont get alot of exposure.
We ran really well friday. I got 5th in both the 100M and the 200M. Not amazing or anything. I hope to be outrageous next year, having a bit more experience. BUT I did win one heat of my races, meaning I crossed the finish line first....that felt rad!
The norweigen, canadian and I all got "All American" awards, oddly enough.....This confuses me greatly but hey I was excited to go up and recieve something.
We all had a crazy time together. Three of the guy's shaved their legs, making them of course look better then us girls'. Not cool! :) But I didnt mind.
Johan spilt tuna fish on me.
Heather and I found out eating pancakes the day of a race is a not so enjoyable idea.
I really have pity for those who live in this part of the country, they have restaurants that leave you begging for a gas station burrito. We went to a buffet that the boy's were even complaining about, seriosly. I was so glad we had a wal-mart next door to our hotel.

The teams we ran against were mormon and chistian science. We were by far the friendliest team. We all believe in Jesus just have different view's of who he is.
We went site seeing. Yeah we saw the MISS RIver, some really huge catfish, drove though some towns that looked straight out of "the Village" and took the "Mel Price" dam tour. Let me tell you that everyone who had seen "national lampoon's vacation" spoke up right about then. Got any "Dam Questions?" (It was a nice break from the constant "Anchorman" humor, which somehow never get's old).
The tour basically consisted of us debating if you'd survive falling from such heights and the guy's boasting about how they had cliff dove from 90 feet. The the other guy would say "all your bones would break if you hit the water from that height" and back and forth. Then we spit over the side and watched the wind carry it into the turbulent waters. We rode in huge elevators, which put us in close quarters with the other tour'er's who were all well in to their 60's and 70's. It felt like we were inside that one level of James Bond video game. The level I could never pass.

I had been letting some of the other guy's play my Martin but had neglected to play myself (tight space permit's me from imposing my song's, out of respect). On Fri they asked if I'd play for them on the bus. Mark asked why I had'nt been doing this the whole time. They were really nice and all seemed to enjoy my voice (hoarse as it was). The most common response I get from people is that they say they could fall asleep to my voice and that it's very unique. So that makes me feel better, cause I dont want anyone to be annoyed by it. Some girls' voices get kinda high and screechy.
The weather was so perfect. Warm and slightly breezy. God blessed us so much. I have been learning so much from him. I have been so patient and not over reacting about my "NO CELL PHONE" situation. I am just waiting it out. I know He will come through for me!
We all had alot of fun together. It is the end of an era........:)
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Some of us...after eating our worst meal. If you look close you can see Johans shirt say's
"Beer relay's". Leave it to the euro to have T-shirt's that the coach looks twice at.

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Backseat of the bus....trying to get comfortable

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Mississippi river in all it's muddy glory

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Us almost falling in the Miss river

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Coach Olivia and I. She's single and looking.

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Mark finaly coming to his "Metro self realization"

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Waiting for the dam tour.

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watching the boy's play football

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I won the cartwheel contest....

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......and the Catfish kissing contest

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heather and I

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Sneaking around the Christian Science campus. It was so rad. All the building's looked like this

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Johan and me

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Our hotel had "Alice in wonderland" door's
(These are the kind of picture's that know one understand's at the time, but turn out way cool...ok I exaggerate a bit)

5/7/05 04:07 pm - I've been told I have "wooky hair"

This is from David Letterman's list. Thought most of them were funny.

Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Camping Out To See "Star Wars"

10. "Why don't I have anything better to do?"

9. "How many Wookies does my tent sleep?"

8. "Will it be more fun than when I camped out to see 'Miss Congeniality 2'?"

7. "Exactly when did I give up on doing anything meaningful with my life?"

6. "Will I be teased by roving gangs of Trekkies?"

5. "If I use all my vacation days now, how will I take that trip to ice planet Hoth?"

4. "Does Starbucks let guys dressed as galactic bounty hunters use their bathroom?"

3. "I wonder how many other guys on line are named 'Shecky'?"

2. "Should I just pay the extra dollar and use Moviefone?"

1. "If I had a girlfriend, what would she think?"

5/2/05 04:27 pm - I've got reservations......

Freakin out! Cant find my bag with contents of credit cards, ID, phone and cash for a deposit.....I know God will help me find it. But I'm still kinda feeling foolish.
Went and checked all the carts at walmart and the cash register lady, and ripped my car apart. I even looked in the fridge (I get it from my mum).
It will turn up.

A couple nights ago I came into our house to find....
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Jeff, Conrad, Eli and Dusty had come over to our house while we were all working and had some fun.
(Gotta love our high ceilings)
This is just the living room, every other room in the house was covered as well.
We just left it all up and found that Elizabeth had lured dusty over with the promises of food so they cleaned it up the next day... silly boys.

I pretty much can't believe I 've lived this long without really ever listening to "Wilco", they are pretty much one of the best bands ever!
But hey life is all about discovering new things. We'll never know everything. (though I'm feeling like I'm almost there :) J/K
Hey peace to you and your followers (Cause remember, You do have "followers", every "non hermit" person has at least one person who looks to them as an example, dont screw them up...)

4/28/05 10:54 pm - William Wallace lost his only true love....for that, the world must pay

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I see you...
This morning I awoke at my usual 5:30 only to be totally and suddenly thrown into the rememberance of the yucky dream I had just been having. I killed some girl and was so guilty feeling. I was trying to find a place to hide her shirt so no one would know....so sick.
Anyway's upon waking I had a very very horrible feeling. I am usually not afraid of the dark but I had to have every light on in every room while getting ready. It really felt like demons were around me. I tell ya what. The devil is not letting up on me at all lately. I really feel like he's trying to get me at every decision. Been pretty down for the past 2 days. I will try and start living happier.

While I was home I found the tennis racket I never used (in a nice black case), so I decided to bring it back so I can play in our courts here. It would'nt fit in my suitcase. So I slung it over my shoulder as I traveled. I think people maybe thought I was a tennis player, for reals. I liked that. I did'nt have to say anything...they just assumed. hehe
This is Jamie and I fooling around in borders....last hour in MT. This pic was taken on his phone. AMAZING!
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4/28/05 01:12 pm - Distance has a way of making love understandable...

I missed the "Wilco" show...heard it was amazing....
The only song I know by them is "radio cure". It's a good one.
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4/28/05 12:16 pm - "Great Odin's Raven"!!!

Can anyone please reveal the mystery of how exactly dish soap can be "tough on grease" while still remaining "soft on hands". Such a dichotomy.

ANyone who has the priviledge of riding on airplanes knows there are certain things one has to deal with. Some of those things.
Watching those individuals (usually senior citizens) ride on those golf carts inside the airport, without any expression on their faces. You know they are exctatic! It is pretty much the thrill of their lives to be on that cart right now. Maybe it's cause they feel guilty about cruising past all the rest of us trying to balance our luggage and get to the opposite side of the airport to make our flight. So I guess they dont want to seem rude.This is pretty much the only time when smiling is rude.

That one guy on the back of the plane who's voice is clearly heard on the front of the plane...while saying things like "well I'm actually a stand up comedian" and "Yeah I've tried everything to get my hair growing again". I sat next to a comedian while I was on my way back from Santa Monica last summer. He was'nt very funny. May I say that if you are really indeed a comic, dont make a big deal of it, we'll only put you to the test. If I'm not laughing by the end of our conversation, I'll think you're either lieing or no one i'd pay to see.

The crying kids are a given.....I just learned to always bring headphones...even if you cant listen to music during take off (thats when they cry the most).... The guy next to me said if that kid didnt stop, he'd pay me $100 bucks for my headphones....When the kid started again, I looked his way for a bill but I think he had just been kidding .....never make jokes about giving money to a student.

Once I got to Bozeman, It was so thrilling to see the mountains again! Beautiful, beautiful!
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This is the first view U get out of the airport doors.

Pretty sure I should'a taken more pictures but I always say that!
Had tons of fun with everyone. Was able to see only a few though. So many memories in that town.
The weather was so so pretty...
Driving back from Salt Lake through the night was a reminiscient of when I went to "curiosa" fest alone last summer. Despite my constant comments of how I'd be happy to drive anytime, the boys never took me up on it, hmmmm. I am just happy that I was'nt the one who took us 100 miles in the wrong direction at 3 in the morning...but that's just between us right?
Got to drive the jeep around...amazing
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Amber and David picked me up at the airport...so nice to see them again! Missed U's!:)
Got back just in time to see the snowpatrol show. I just thought of the moment when I was standing in the pit watching the opning band and out of nowhere wondered what pair of shoes I had decided to wear to this event.....then realized I had'nt. Decided that is. I was wearing one of each. Not a big deal when intentionaly done....but I felt a little stupid....'specially since they were 2 completely different shoes (black circa's and orange rocket dogs).
what you dont know cant hurt you...until you know.

4/28/05 11:58 am - If blondes really do have more fun...the jokes make up for it :)

Alright so you probably wont believe me on this but yes this is my mum! (Yes we look nothing alike, after years of wondering why..I just accepted it). She is so rad!
She is the most outgoing, crazy, cute, silly, smart, creative, productive, and best cook....ever!
Some things I've learned from her: How to make people feel comfortable and appreciated, how to dress, how to drive fast, how to say no to boys,.....
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A rare picture of her being still.

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My mum in action. This is part of what she does for a living...talk's and describes things with her hands....
(Bry remember chubby piping?:):))hehe

Love you mum!

4/27/05 03:28 pm - When it hit's your lips ...it's sooooo goood!

Spent some time back in MT, from there we roadtripped down south (again) to Salt Lake for a TEB concert.
Soooooo Good!

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Sliding the 56th penny in the parking slot

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Transportation in the big city of Salt Lake. Why the morons...ahem mormons chose this city is under great debate and shows that Joseph smith was indeed a bit crazy....

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Aaron, Jamie and I hiding from the salty lake rain under Jamies shirt.

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Aaron getting startled by the sudden stream of water

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Waiting for people to come by and tell us we are hot......casue we're very hot...we're kind of a big deal around here, if they did'nt know.

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No it's not a creepy mansion....close, it's the mormon castle. We got a tour while we were there. It was very eye opening. It sounds so close to christianity...we had a great discussion about it. I hope your bruised shin heals.

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Stevie J. Whom we came to Salt Lake to see. He was amazing live! He still managed to escape our grasp like last time. Someday we'll get him.

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Mr. Mischief

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The afterglow of watching our favorite band play.....And our favorite pose.

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Thanks to Jamie for making this entire trip and concert possible.....

4/27/05 01:35 pm - You've been the onlyt hing thats right in all I've done....

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Maybe you have escaped all the hype from Rolling stone and spin magazine's, looked past their cd onsale at Walmart, and managed to listen to the radio station in between their hit songs. But these smiling, scottish stars "Snowpatrol" put on a show that I somehow did'nt want to end. You know those shows's that you just wish would end cause you are sick of standing, but you dont want to commit the carnal sin of leaving before the encore? It was NOT one of those. They had a very confident feel, the lead singer was a cross between Jason wade of lifehouse and Eddie Vedder. They were really inspirering and had a nice full sound. Their songs are either really beautiful or songs to jump around to. I liked how they kinda brought back an almost sophisticated garage band-esque stage presence. (The word "esque" is the new black)
The band who opened for them "embrace" were kinda funny. They all had greasy Jesus of nazareth hairdo's, and played pretty generic british rock. Although any band who comes out and watches the main band with us in the pit, is pretty rad by me...

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From the looks of this pic, they could be pretty much ANY band. I was'nt too close cause the crowd had ferocious elbows and every girl had a tall boyfriend.

4/26/05 12:03 pm - Everything I do turns out to be my favorite thing to do

Whats the use.... You say "oh I dont need a plastic bag for that", so the cashier wads the bag up and puts it in the trash can....Simply missing the whole point in me not taking it in the first place. I just looked at her with confused eyes and walked out. What can you do?

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Some extra time with a photo from salt lake trip.

4/21/05 03:12 pm - It's 4/20 and we are in Kansas, and we are having fun (Will Farell style)

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Yeah thats K.S. in the backround. There's no place like home...no place like home.

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The starting line.

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In the Steeple chase pit with Johan. I guess pimpin' aint any easier for Norweigens.

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Waiting for my next race...in the meantime we keep the other teams entertained.

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So this trucker was having some engine trouble at the gas station we stoppped at so I told him I'd check under the hood for him.

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I think this is the only Applebees in K.S.

It was a really hot day! Our whole team did really well. A very fun race all around!

4/13/05 12:52 pm - A taxing situation

I'm here at our local library to get help with my crazy taxes. For some reason I just refuse to believe the people who say I can do them myself! "I just can't ok"!
I am way too afraid of messing something up and having to go to jail and sleep on a cot next to another girl who's not "in" for tax fraud but a more violent offense. So I am being needy and using the resource provided. Thank God for the elderly who do more with their time than just recline in their lazy boy's and consume ensure, thanks to the ones who volunteer their time to help us younger ones obey the law. What would happen in a world without old people sharing their wisdom? Would we be doomed to repeat all the mistakes that they made? Thus never evolving the human sense of learning from experience's of others. Or in the words of a teenager. "Screw you, I'll do it myself"

Thoughts of lately:

Had an embarrasing moment at the track meet, when my track pants got blown open and caught my other leg in it's grasp sending my body to the ground rather roughly, in front of a whole group of brown skinned,very athletic, brothers. The track is really sharp too. So I have another hole in my kappa pants now. But I did manage to straighten out my bent elvis glasses with my bleeding palms and my sweat band did stay on!

There was a funny table full of guys at work. While myself and ashley were talking to them they started laughing and all of a sudden one of them totally spit out his mouthful of beer. It was so from a movie. And yes bud lite ended up all over us.

Went to walmart and got yelled at for riding in the cart at midnight.

I run at least one stop sign per day, thats my new alotment

Cleaning is contageous in my house. When I start cleaning and turn on my music, girls start joining in. But I think it's just cause of my rule "Whoever is cleaning gets to play their music". They were helping me get done quicker I guess, trying to retain their sanity.

Really want to figure out a way to set up a slip and slide in the yard, the kind with the big splash pool at the end. I really get excited when I think about those. One of my favorite toys from childhood. Having a really long fast hill made for some big bruises though.

Finally cleaned my room. I think AMber has been holding back yelling at me for sometime now (Obviously we share a room). I found alot of things I had been wondering about.

I've stopped eating Ice cream. I think I'll manage but I'll be going through some major withdrawls.

My new phone is nice (I'm on my 3rd cell since living here). It has a flash for the camera.

Johan let me drive his Saab. Oh its a beautiful feeling. I think he had never driven with me before. Cause he was aweful trusting.

Talked to my brother last night. He's so rad. But now I cant help but wonder if he's drunk when I'm talking to him. Cause the last time I saw him in person he was, and (the unassuming sister I am) I did'nt realize.

How come no one understands my music taste? Rarely do I meet soemone who even know's the names, much less knows the music, much lesser like's it.

In the middle of praying for our pastor in "Exaltation" (worship and prayer time at shcool), one of the balls fell off my industial and I freaked out! no one could help me.....I worked my magic.
And said a prayer for him afterward.

Taxes call my name......I yell back them...I'm on my way!!!
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In this picture I am wearing a dollar bill ring, that I made. You might call me an origami master!

4/11/05 03:12 pm - Reluctantly crouched at the starting line....

We drove our awesome huge bus to Ok City on saturday! As you can see I'm waiting for everyone to load on so I can get on the road.
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Quite possibly the worst picture of me EVER! But we are wearing our "lucky" adidas headbands. Still the worst pic EVER. I look like I'm wearing a wig. I'm not above being ugly.
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Cozy on the back of the bus with heather and Johan (the norweigen). Everyone crowds in the back and our party begins.
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Just goes to show how we pretty much could'nt have lived fulfilled or content lives at all if we'd only been born a decade or so before.
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Most likely just pretending were tired.....I only ran for a couple minutes today.
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Load'n up the team! I'm getting impatient here!
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It was a really nice day! I love the sun! We had some fans come along to cheer us on.

4/8/05 12:20 pm - Sheep go to heaven goats go to hell....

When I went outside at 6:00 this morning I noticed something out of the ordinary....
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I went to "cake" last night! I went there with 2 kids from work but soon lost them and realized they had left before it had even begun. But there were really cool people there so I made some friends. Met some people from MT, should've gotten their numbers, but they were boys...I dont ever ask. One even had lived in CA, MT and was homeschooled. Weird coincidence. Th e openers "robbers on high street" were good, alot like "maroon 5"(who I've seen live twice), but british (so that soubles the coolness factor).
"Gomez" was alright kinda just jammed. It was too long.
Cake was funny, he just looked like "some guy with a beard". I bet he has never had a hard time going out with his girlfriend to a nice restaurant. They sounded really tight and the trumpet player was really rad!
It is starting to become a tradition that every show I get a swift black converse to what seems like the softest part of my skull. Crowd surfing is always a little more difficult when the one in the air is getting thrown towards the back of the crowds heads. (40% of which are small girls)
After getting kicked yer always a bit more bitter towards those selfish surfers who insist on wrecking the show for everyone, so when they come by again you give a little bit of what they caused you "pain". A helpfull shove you know just tryin' to help....
They didnt allow camera's inside....so you now understand my silly pic
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4/6/05 01:59 pm - Allergic to work

I got the "giggles" in my last class today. It is the first time all year that it has happened. It was a combination of re-telling myself Andy's story about one of the high strung guys at school shaking his arm as a hello, while he was holding a pop-tart Resulting in it falling to the ground. And then saying he would punch him as hard as he could in the stomach next time Nate touches him. And the fact that my fav teacher is out of town so by pure stupid luck, my (everyones) least fav teacher is subbing for him (meaning I have him twice in one day) and he happens to be wearing a noisy track jacket over a turtle neck, and adjusting the zipper of his jacket makes a loud (farting) noise in the microphone(watching everyone else, try and not notice). Too much for me today! In the class before(my favorite class) I was so tired that I was full on sleeping and had to get up and go to the back and stand up (high heeled boots and all) just to keep my eye's open. (Davids trick):)
Track has been good. I got back into the rut of getting up at 5:30 and usually pick up Andy on the way. Seems like the friends I chose to be nice to dont even care one bit. Well at least he says thank you sometimes. Unlike others.
I am really ready to go home now, where people appreciate me.
It's a seattle-esque day. Rain and gloom.
I have been working everynight this week cause I cant say no (well I mean to everything besides drugs and sex). Everytime someone ask's me to pick up their shift, they always have a really good excuse like, gramma in hospital, leading worship at a hospital for cancer patients...I mean come on, how can you say no to making money in the place of another. It has been really good lately. Except last night I seriosly almost cried...out of relief. I had a table of 6 and they of coure were all seperate and in the mix of things I forgot to run one card....so I had to tell my manager and he was nice thank God, but still I was stessing about him making me pay for it all....he totally voided the check! I was so relieved that I couldnt breath for a sec...(U must understand while I was doing this I was getting sat twice and one table needed drinks from the bar and I was getting behind so..)
I am going to "Cake" Tmrw....instead of "United Live"(hillsong people). Everyones making me feel crappy about it, but I dont really even care. Amber is starting to not bug me about it anymore so thats nice.
I made chicken today and I am really annoyed by it. I dont even like chicken anymore. I just had to cook it so it would'nt go bad. I dont really like the taste of any food anymore. I'd rather just not even have to deal with cooking...except for other people. Amber always eats what I make anyways. I'm just so tired that I cant even sleep at night. That seems weird.
I got a message from dad last night. I really havent had time to talk to him...but he just thinks I'm being "way too sensitive to every little thing". Dont think I like him anymore. Even when I am not in the mood to be nice, I still manage to be so at work. It's like I just "Turn on the bright lights" (as interpols paul banks would say). Speaking of interpol, please watch the "evil" music video, it's the craziest thing you eva did see. Been listening to "the music" lately. Dig the cd James bought me. It's always there for you.
Read Ephesians last night, all 6 chapters. We are supposed to read it 3 times each in a different version for class. we also have a very extensive book on it too. I hope to know it backwards and forwards soon!
favorite color is white today. What is the difference between night and day? What is a wish anyway?
If I asked you a question would you answer with another?
SO I need to get things in order for my taxes. Kinda put it off. STUPID ME!
I also now have a warrant out in MO for my arrest if they catch me there (no time soon). Kinda forgot about this huge ticket I still need to pay. Which basically is the same price as a plane ticket off expedia.
We just got a store here like buffalo exchange, its actually really rad and cheap. I got a sergio velenti jean jacket.
I'm getting sick of everything I do being noticed.
I am still in awe that my mum can send me emails. She is so funny.
I like her personality. I'll most likely be able to work with her over the summer, fun times.
I've decided to just be happy here, cause I will never be right here, with this exact life again. This day is unlike any other past and any other to come. Oppurtunities jump out and hide around every corner. I would really rather not look back on life and wonder where it all went.
School is nearing it's sugary lips, sap sticky, mellowdramatic, calm spuratic end. I am all at once overyjoyed and skipping stones on a lake of "could've done betters". But that's what experience is for. I am not afraid to make mistakes. I made 4 A's and 2 B's last term. Not bad for a girl who is not used to a GPA higher than 3.0! Amber got 2 100's, I'm proud of her!!!
I miss David. I know were all busy but seriosly we gotta all get together again. I was planning on having some people over to watch "the neverending story" but I never had a night off.
The choices made leave footprints in the wet cement and sometimes deep mud on our pathway of life.
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Us at David and Ambers work

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me, amber, holly, elizabeth, josie

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Us on Holly's bike (she's still learning to drive)

3/29/05 11:15 pm - Nicotine and Gravy, think I'm goin' crazy!!

HaH! I love Beck! I can just feel his carefree kickback attitude in every awkwardly aromatic, jumping jack tune. My brother and used to listen to the "midnight Vultures" album while we painted at our "at the time" together parent's store. Those times were nice. I loved spending time with him!
Work was slow! Amber worked tonight, Holly trained her. Lucky Girl!
ANdy was starting to get on my nerves tonight. He is the only person I know that I can actually yell at for being a jerk and not feel bad about it. (well I kinda do later but I justify it) He can be so stupid. He makes me wait around for him at work...and expect's that I'll still give him a ride, though he just messes around. Grrrr,not very efficient!
ANyways he's a good kid.
I got my ass handed to me today at 6:00 am. That's what happens when you take a week off from running and expect that you'll just bounce back. It made me so tired for classes afterward!
New classes!
They are so wonderful!
I am happy and I hope you are too! Even though my phone is acting like a psycho (insurance co, is sending me a new one tmrw) YES! I think it may actually be possessed. David and Amber heard it acting up. So I have been really good about not going crazy about being down my normal communication source. I missed talking to Jamie....but I guess I can manage...since we went 6 friggen monthes without...
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3/29/05 01:02 pm - Hello I love you.....

Anberlin does a really good version of "Love Song", the Cure's original rad song....just so you know.
So on Easter I came home from work to a crazy surprise.
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Yeah Amber and Elizabeth decided to get me back for hanging her huge old stuffed platapuss, that takes up too much space from a noose.:)
It was the funniest situation ever! I walked into my whole ceiling covered with hanging undergarments...and some on the wall too! She put a thong on her stuffed animal too! We got it on film too! I treid to re-enact how much I screamed...but by that time I was already hoarse....
Now for my retaliation.....

3/27/05 11:50 pm - Easter Madness

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Happy Easter! I am hoping that everyone I know had a great day although I know this is nearly impossible.
I had a great time though.
Slept in.
Ate lasagna with the girls.
Went to Josh tots' apt. met a bunch of people, ate some more. Drank norwegian water out of a glass bottle. thrilling I must say!
Worked in the bar at work. Not a whole lotta drinkers I was glad to not serve much alcohol.
Everyone got my Easter packages and so far they have loved 'em.
I put much time and effort into them!!
At work my manager said some guy called in and left his credit card number and told him to buy my dinner with it. Seriously one of the sweetest things ever! James you treat me so freakin amazing! I just got the post card from Italy today!!!! Wow I'm truley impressed with all Gods creation I have yet to see....

3/27/05 11:44 am - mullets...

So by the time were go through all the trials and ordeals of life, we sometimes feel we should in fact win some kind of award for "Quickest built character"! It's disapointing that we find the place where our trophy should be sitting to remain empty, the place around our neck that should be warmed by a medal stays bare, while we are still learning our "calvin and hobbes" esque lessons about life.
We have to realize that we do it all to just be better people and to benefit everyone around us. We have to be awesome to attract awesome friends!

SO what would it be like if everyone looked like what they had on the inside? Would that make people strive to gain character? Would people be treated more fairly? Well since this is'nt happening anytime soon, I guess we just have to make the effort to get to know people, thus distinguishing whether they are worthy of our time or not. That would be rather wonderful though.
In a way I think that this happens to the elderly. I wait on alot of cute old people at work and many of the not so cute ones. I think with time their true colors start filter through their deteriorating bodies. It is interesting to see this manifestation of the very theory I have proven that will never exist.

I have seen my fair share of O.K. southern mullets down here. Some people did'nt get the "memo", of the explanation of that hair cut being completly unexceptable for human display. I feel for the poor kids whose mum's give 'em this cut and say it's cool. They'll never be able to trust their mums again.
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SO this picture does not quite do justice to the hugest bruise ever to grace my wrist. I got it some time yesterday at work. It's quite noticable while I'm passing out food to people, so hopefully they'll feel sorry for me and add a couple bucks to the tip:)
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Last night 2 girls gave me their numbers...and tipped me despite them not being my table. huh....?

3/25/05 11:50 pm - Maybe I want to just talk....?

Amber just layed out the funniest qoute "Yes! Another day is over" ! I'm like huh? She is funny. She has a countdown until school is out. 56 more days I guess....We (all 4 of us) just got back from "Fridays" where we went after Holly and I got off from working (we were both in the bar tonight, so it was later for both of us). We ran into funny people from roadhouse...slightly tossed of course. It is just best if I dont hang around friends who are drinking, cause I get this stupid longing to start doing it again. (though it is not even an option, still I just dont like to have any desire at all for it). Us girls had a really fun night though. (we always do).
I got up early despite going to bed at 4am (watched "alex and emma", by myself last night). I went and got my oil changed.....started talking to ris on my cell then it died, so I was just kickin my feet and reading stuff, I resorted to talking to the older couple waiting (it all started when I showed them where to put the money in the snack machine:) soon realized that some people are'nt as chatty or interested in talking when they in a waiting room. Their answers had no "and you"? in them....so I soon stopped pestering them.
Well it took all too long for them to change the liquid life of my subie...but when I left they said "have a blessed day". And that was really sweet so.....
Then I got my body pierced again in an unexpected area. It's very sore. I will post pics sometime (when jamie finally lets me see his eyebrow.)
I am so tired and I must work at least 13 hours tmrw, so I better get to sleeping....this weekend is ending along with my much needed spring break. I love you all!
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This is Amber and I during finals week waiting to be seated at our restaurant...I'm trying to get ahead on my reading....Amber has no respect for my studious efforts. :)

3/23/05 06:17 pm - girls..all I really want is girls...in the morning its girls...

Here we find ourselves at the "Center of the universe" in dowtown Tulsa (a special spot only a few know about)
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We had our boombox blaring and all four of us were dancing out side. We have more video footage than pictures. So this is the best I could get! The pictures dont do us justice. Amber is a great dancer and was hilarious!
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We went to a the spaghetti factory and played around in their photo booth, so that's whats on my backround right now.

Last night we had the thought that since we all had the day off we would spend some qaulity time together. So we wrote a song and burned a cd and danced until late. It was so much fun. Girls can be fun! We awoke pretty late, but still headed downtown (though we got lost a bit, we really didnt have a destination). We played our song (I had my guitar) while walking down the street and filmed ourselves making a music video in front of a church and some government building.
I feel like I have more experience for next time....gotta buy a tripod.
Our spring break is pretty chill so far. the rest of the week is all about makin' money. Amber starts at roadhouse (where Holly and I work) on monday. that should be fun.
I think smiling is the answer to every problem. (laughing and dancing are in 2nd and 3rd place).

3/21/05 06:54 pm - Spring break is here. But I wish I was there.

Well since I planned on being productive today....I havent been at all really. I got a cd in the mail a couple days ago. It's a band called "The Music". It just showed up outta nowhere. Huh.....I'm most positive it is a little trick to get me to like them so I can be considered acceptable...just kiddin'. Thanks tons Jamie! I love 'em. 'specialy # 3,4,7,10. But they are all good! It was such a surpise and really made me consider driving to MN and being there when you get home from Italy!!!! "That would rock" yer probably thinkin'! Yes it would. But so would have me coming home for spring break...but stuff (a polite substitute) happens. :):):):):):):)
I just took David to the airport, he's on his way to AZ. He'll be gone all week! That will rock for him!
I really appreciate Jamie and what a good everything he is! He's a good talker and a good listener! I wonder if he'll always be like that or if it's just for now before a legal relationship has been secured.
Well all that matters now is that he's honest and sincere.:)
I just bought the "no doubt" DVD that has all the videos and some fun extra footage on it!!! It is so so good! I love the "it's my life video" and the "ex girlfriend" one too! Gwen has made herself an icon and it just trips me out!
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3/21/05 12:30 pm - He who makes you, you. Makes me love you!

Wed~Sick all day, lying on the floor between napping and reading all the books I had convieniently saved until the week of finals to finish. I learned alot in a short couple days!
Thurs~We left for the track meet that was to be held in Kansas (once again I was reminded why I am thankful to live in the state of OK, which takes something like going to K.S. to remember). We had to leave at 6:30. Most of us had alot of reading to do but we only mananged to get through an hour or so of actual reading. We all get along so well! The girls from the team came this time and a girl vistiting Johan from his homeland of Norway too! She had unconventional piercings in her ears like me. It was nice to see that I am as rad as Euro girls. I was just rollin' with the punches of still not having spikes (shoes to help me run sprints better), and decided not to worry bout it. Johan got his so we decided that since he always borrows my uniform jersey tank top for racing, that I'd steal his spikes for when I race. (he's a little euro dude that yes, does wear girls pants). SO I was able to run TONS better. In fact I may have tied the school record for the 100M. Not that its great, but still! I cut off seconds on my 200M as well! I was gonna run the steeple chase, which is where you clear barriers and jump over water pits doing 7 1/2 laps (almost 2 miles). It's really whack! But my coach could'nt get me in until next race. That'll be a fun challenging one.
We had a great trip!
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Fri~ We had to take all six of our finals in one day cause we missed on thursday. Not too hard. Worked at roadhouse!
Saturday~worked all day, stayed up way too late.
Sunday~ slept in, hung out, worked
Monday~ It's the first day of spring break! I was up late with Mark and Andy we watched "young guns" and some of the "incredibles". Andy had to be rushed to the ER from work tonight. He was trying to juggle pint glasses and they broke in collision and cut his hands really badly. Holly and I held his hands tight so the blood would stop. There was bright blood everywhere....It was crazy! (meanwhile I supposed to be getting ice tea for my table's). Andy, mark and I do school, work, youth group leading, and track together. So we see each other multiple times a day everyday. They're fun. This morning I still had to wake up early casue I was on the couch again. Went to have lunch with Tara from work...amidst boy problems, I try and help. She's a carnal, struggling, wanna be, christian. She's basically me without Jesus. I have to watch how much time I spend with her. I am surrounded by christians who constantly keep me encouraged and are so uplifting so I have no fear of falling into sin by association. (I have realized that you can never be too good not to sin, and this blinder of pride always gets in the way of seeing clearly how weak we really are in our own selves.)
I am getting some stuff ready to mail out to my family and friends in MT. I love sending packages!!!! It gets really expensive, but it's so worth it! Today I have off so I am going to really get stuff done!
This meal I just ate was the first meal I have eaten here that I didnt feel guilty about or wanted to work off. It feels weird...it's odd to be ok with yourself. It's strange to just be free spirited about it. Not think how much it hurts you. I am just reveling in my stomach being somewhat full and feeling good still...sorry it's so new.
So last night at work was totally normal until this guy I know from around town named Noah Henson walked in to the restaurant. You cant miss him he has the longest dreads ever and is pretty much Kevin max 'cept he is the hard rock version. He plays lead guitar for "Pillar", this christain band. They live around here and go to "GUTS", a church I frequent. I always see him at show's and just around I guess. But I never say hi, cause I am one of those who'd rather not be annoying and like everyone else who is amazed by rockstars (I've met many...they'r usually pretty human. I've bought Kid Rock a knee brace and Maynard from perfect circle face lotion and toothpaste). Plus Noah is married and so thats even more of a respect issue too. Well annoyingly enough he sits in someone elses section. But he is next to mine. He does keep looking my way, but I still give him no attention. After he leaves I find out he asked one of the hosts to talk to me for him but she never had the time (I could have strangled her). He must have remembered me from all the times we saw each other but I never spoke to him..:)! And I guess it was just my wishful thinking that he was married. Cause he's not.
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SO I have totally lost interest in "Myspace". I actually never really get why I liked it. I mean 'cept for the pictures...which I can now do on here.!!!!!! Love it!
I miss james tons and tons. As though being in a different state wasnt enough, he had to go and be in a different country altogether!!!:) He called yesterday and left a cute message about being in a phone booth outside an Italian bar. He sounds really good! Glad it all worked out for him to go. When my parents split I had to give up an all expenses paid week in Paris,France. Huh oh well....Still havent spoken with my Father since wednesday. I think I am feeling better. I cant really tell.
I have decided what I am going to go into for my 2nd year of school. They give you like 6 choices. It is not what I would have chosen, but since I let God decide it will be fun and challenging for me.
You need to download Radioheads cover of neil youngs "cinnammon girl", it's really rad!

3/20/05 01:49 am - Got a body like a battle axe.....

Get... get... get... get... get over it!
this band is pretty neat!
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3/19/05 11:59 pm - L is for the way U Look at me...

Back when my brother bryce and I used to be obsessed with watching those old james bond movies, I was amazed to learn that the actor who played "jaws", the giant bad guy character with unexplained metal in his mouth, was a christan in real life. That just proved to me, as a young thing, that appearances really can be decieving. These are things that are real~
That everyone has a reputaion and an image whether they know it, like it, or deny it.
That no matter what you say you will always prove how you really feel in action.
That we can steretype people all day long, but will soon realize the people that rise above typing will be the ones that aquire and retain better, more reliable relationships, and will also live more balanced lives, full of divers influences and culture. The best advantage to being "open minded" (a dirty word in christian'ese) is being able to reach people who dont come into circles of Jesus lovers often.
The people who are the closest to you and that you love the most will undoubtedly hurt you the deepest at some point in your life, you'll do he same to them ten times more often (most of the time without knowing it, most likely).
Watch out for that tone you used to hear your mum talk to your dad on the phone with, if you start using it on someone you love, remember why you hated knowing who she was talking to just by listening for it.
Letting the outside circumstances affect you're mood is a sure sign that you dont have enough maturity to start a family. Start getting used to things getting a bit out of order...watch how you deal.
Uncalled for gifts and nice words can make the darkest day's clear up for people. How much is you're friend or co-workers happiness worth to you? The 2 dollars it takes to get a card and 5 minutes to burn a mix cd?
How long will it take before we realize that we as christians have to prove ourselves here on earth...I have seen some just sit back and assume that everythings all taken care of and everybody owes them cause their Gods children. Well when was the last time you worked with a another who didnt follow Christ, yet they seemed to be better example of Him. I found myself thinking of how much harder I need to try and be the most sparkling light, the most reliable, honest, loyal and harworking or anyone I knew. If I can say of another that they are being a brighter light for "whatever it is that they shine for", than I need to re-evaluate and burn with my desire a little brighter. I need to stoke the fire a bit more. In that I am only here once. This is the last time I am in this hour. I only pass by him once in the store. I may never see that face in heaven because of my selfish or out of touch'ness. When I get to heaven I am going to have any stories to tell of how I walked this earth for Christ's glory? I am going to bow before my king and hear him say "well done, look at all the awesome things that I have recorded of your time on earth, things you and I can be proud of".
It only goes so far, all the things that you say you'll do and never do them. It only goes so far when you say you love and forget to show it.
It only goes so far to be a father but never really be a dad. To say it but never show, to kiss a cheek but never provide what is a necessity. To make empty promises of a tree house but only be too busy every weekend to get out the tools. To be a husband but not be a lover. To buy a card and write only "love,me" inside. To watch me grow up and not tell me all the things I needed to know. To call on the phone and tell me everyday how you are being wronged. To say I miss you but really know that I'm the last resort and just a disraction from your lonliness. To remember how joy was stollen cause I was "too loud". To listen to you talk bad about everyone u and I know and hear you wonder why no one cares. To wonder how you're stories differ from everyone elses. To wonder how it is possibl that you forget everything I tell you about myslef. To not care how you are making me crazy and stay sick and not rest and live in constant fear and realize how life has been full of many lies. I just cut the phone line.
I think you need some time.
I think I do too.
I say all this, yet to be fair I must revert back to the subject of, negative externalities and how if I let them get under my skin and affect me, divert me, than I am too far gone to be able to say I am mature at all. This is my constant struggle. To love you enough to stick around and lose myself, or loving you enough to leave.
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3/13/05 10:53 pm - Rays of sunshine literally shining out of my very being!

God woke me up this morning. Cell phone issue's(my only alarm clock due to my sudden bender of sleeping on the living room couch)! Would'nt recommend the audiovox brand.....they are definately not built by asians.
So I did in fact get to go to church. And yes you heard me say "get to" unlike the "earlier days" of my living here. I like "Rhema" bucket loads better than a few months ago. I just had to get used to pastors whack southern style. He spoke on John 10:10 "The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I come to give life and give it more abundantly". ooops well AMber has to sleep now so I will leave her be....
Oh she got distracted....so I was in SUCH A GOOD MOOD at work tonight! Probably cause Holly just got home and I was able to hug her hello! I love my girls!!!! Ok she's in bed and giving me the hint...so I'll turn off the bright lights...roxannne you dont have to.....:)
As you can see it's pretty stinkin' cold here in Oklahoma! And as you can also see, I got a new "explorer", and you can also see that Tulsa is now located near a very large body of water...(ok it's the east coast somewhere:, crazy huh?)
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